Whether they tell us through sexist advertising or as in the athletic world… non-sponsorship of female athletes (unless they are giggly, sexy, blonde and willing to pose nude) the result is the same… they don’t care.

Female skateboarders have it especially rough this summer. While there has been a bevy of bikini-clad surfer girls and super-cool snowboard ladies trotted out to appease us, companies have quietly cancelled women’s skateboard events (which rarely got media attention anyway, so hardly anyone will even notice… “women compete in the X-Games??” is a query I almost always hear) and it’s recently been reported that Vans is ending their 20-year relationship with legendary skateboarder Cara-Beth Burnside.

So what can we do?

We can cry “unfair” and blog until we’re blue in the face about the poor little girls with nothing but Barbie to inspire them, but it won’t change a thing. CEO’s don’t care about fairness and they don’t care about the self-esteem of our little girls, they care about dollars and market share and return on investment.

If nothing can change a business mind except business… we’ve got one option. Stop buying their products and when they realize that we are an important percentage of their market, wait for them to court us back.

Why should they?

Marketing experts will tell you that teens are an important and growing market, not only because they are brand conscious with a disposable income, but brand loyalty is often established in the teen years.

And what about teen girls? Well, teen girls have a higher disposable income than boys, they also rank clothing as their #1 purchase and shoes as #2. Twice as many teen girls buy their clothes with their own money than teen boys. Even more importantly, teen girls are far more likely to promote a brand to their friends and consistently share their brand information via social networking, which is rapidly becoming the most important marketing method for all business.

They tell us that women are not a big enough piece of the pie to warrant the expense. But, research tells us that girls represent somewhere between 18-25% of the 18.5 million skaters in the USA alone. I don’t claim to be a business expert, but that seems to be a large enough chunk of consumers to warrant at least one female team rider. Especially when you consider that this percentage exists despite enormous odds; having only a handful of role models, frequent discouragement and judgment from parents, teachers, peers, boys… these girls still skateboard. Imagine how much potential for growth there is in this market if girl skaters actually got any media coverage, proper sponsorships, if parents didn’t insist that skateboards are for boys and manicure kits are for girls, and if our society didn’t perpetually discourage girls from partaking in something “dangerous”.

So if we eliminate the idea that the girls market isn’t worthwhile, we’re left with few other reasons as to why skateboard companies can’t be bothered to include one woman in their team of twenty or more sponsored riders.

As Vans simultaneously drops Cara-Beth while revealing a Hello Kitty/Vans campaign… I can’t help but wonder what this says about how companies view the female market. Perhaps they think they’ve got us anyway, that girls don’t care about having female role models and will still buy the product to look cool to the boys. Or perhaps they think we don’t have any other options.

So what do we do?

We support the companies that are willing to support us. This isn’t a vendetta, it’s just that we need to look out for ourselves and that means not giving our money to people who won’t help us out. It isn’t even just about women sticking with women… If you’re a guy and Cara-Beth Burnside inspired you, tell the world. If you think Lizzie Armanto deserves to have her name on the empty space on the banner for the ProTec Contest, speak up. If you’re a BMX’er, support some skateboarders… if you’re buying a board, try buying from a company that is like you, will support your community in return, will listen to you…

There are companies going right now by people who are struggling to make ends meet… people who will see you as a customer and not just another dollar in the register.

Etnies has five female skateboard team riders in addition to female surfers and snowboarders.

Skatera (whose awesome jeans I plan to buy every time I see Abby Zsarnay) sponsors girl riders and makes great products.

Silly Girl Design has an all-female team, great boards and work hard to create opportunities for girls of all ages to skate.

Cheapsk8r who has supported our project and girl skaters from the get-go.

I’m sure there are more… go find them, talk to them, buy from them. Let’s help people like us.

And if we don’t… we may be seeing the end of women’s skateboarding at a time when it should be at an all-time high.

- Madeleine

Madeleine (aka Stark Raving Madeleine) is currently in self-financed production on an exciting television docu-series titled Girls Just Wanna Grind. Her first documentary, Adventure Girls (still in post-production), has already garnered interest from major television networks, inspiring her to develop a television series on inspiring, adventurous women for the USA, UK and Canada.

You can support our girl skater documentary buy purchasing this shirt and others at:
THE STARK RAVING MADELEINE SHOP

Or visit our kickstarter campaign and pledge at:
GIRLS JUST WANNA GRIND

Next week, little Debbie Lynn came up with folded arms and told me in no uncertain terms that “Girls don’t ride motorcycles… my Mommy said so”. Not about to lose an argument with someone who still needed help getting their velcro shoes on, I raced out to the bike after class and started it up just as little Debbie Lynn was leaving the building with her Mommy in tow. As I pulled away and turned the corner, I saw a pink tutu bouncing as a little girl pointed and pulled on her immaculately dressed Mother’s arm.

Week three, Debbie Lynn arrives and conspiratorially shares with me “Girls DO ride motorcycles! I see them from my carseat!” At the end of class, I spy her talking to my motorcycle outside while her mother takes a call on her cell, when her mother drags her away, little Debbie Lynn blows my motorcycle a kiss before merrily skipping away.

One convert for the girl team… now let’s get to work on her mom.

It’s for all those little girls that we’re making this documentary. Whether you skateboard, ride a motorcycle, start a rock band, or any other kind of adventure… you’re pretty cool in my books. Let’s get those stories out there, so that little girls have something to see other than bland pop stars and vain celebrities!

Please subscribe to our YouTube channel, we need to show the world that people really want to see girls doing awesome stuff. More videos are coming soon!

We do have a lot, but it’s too much. Just think about how many choices we’re faced with daily. Many of us start our days with what used to be a simple cup of coffee; now we decide between non-fat, half-fat, full-fat, soy, decaf, half-caf, hazelnut/amaretto/vanilla, with whip, no whip, extra hot, iced, room for cream, sugar, Splenda, Equal, Stevia… and the endless options don’t stop after we grab our coffee. We choose cereal from an entire grocery aisle of options. We choose television programs from hundreds of channels. Looking something up on the Internet provides us with thousands of websites from the simplest query. It’s overwhelming. So many choices give us the feeling that we should be able to control every teeny aspect of our lives, so when our lives go awry, we feel responsible.

Advertisers have sold us the idea that choice = freedom. While that is certainly true for big things like voting, it doesn’t necessarily hold true for which brand of bottled water we buy. The human brain can only manage so many things at once. It’s exhausting. Sometimes I think we’re so wrapped up in wondering if we bought the right car seat that adding the burden of learning some of the basics like dealing with teething, what to do if the baby won’t latch, and other things that deal directly with caring for this new person in our lives, feels like too much. We are so focused on getting the right accessories and then wonder why it doesn’t all go smoothly like the advertisements promised it would.

We are lucky. We do have it all; we can vote, we can work, we may even have a woman president. We have bigger houses, nicer cars, and more clothes than our parents had. Some of us even have housecleaners and nannies. We take yoga classes and get massages. We’re so lucky that it’s too much. We gather more and more stuff, do more and more activities and wonder why we feel so empty. It’s time to cut back.

As children, we’re naturally full of spirit, whimsy, and a strong yearning for knowledge. Our days are filled with excitement and our sense of adventure wins out over the challenges and obstacles we encounter. Why then, do we as adults frown, scoff, and even sneer at the idea of fun or silliness? Why are we so anxious to “grow up” and distance ourselves from the spirit of youth?

Why does there come a point when responsible adults exchange their guitars for briefcases, their motorcycles for sedans, their snowboards for golf clubs? What happened to the freedom that was supposed to come along with the added responsibility of being in charge of your own life? As we grow through childhood, pressure is put on us to be increasingly more self-conscious. Certainly by the time we make it through high school, most of us have learned, rather painfully, to keep ourselves as inconspicuous as possible. Heading out into the world of adulthood, it’s soundly reinforced that we need to “look the part”, “be serious”, and “act responsibly”.

Now, you’ll get no argument from me that adults need to be responsible. It’s just that I’m thinking along the lines of: not causing harm to others, paying bills on time, not forgetting to feed the dog, and taking good physical care of ourselves and dependants. What I don’t understand is this; how did riding a skateboard, spontaneously jumping into a pile of leaves, or spending an afternoon drawing pictures with crayons worm their way into unacceptable, irresponsible adult behavior?

We’re too hard on ourselves and each other. Living life with spirit and enthusiasm is far more important than meeting someone else’s standard of appropriate behavior. We need to discover ways of reclaiming the youthful spirit that brightened our childhood and we need to let it be okay for others to do the same without judgment. It should be fun to be an adult. Funny thing is, the more we open up and allow ourselves the space to be real, to do and say the things we please, the more it allows and encourages those around us to do the same. My grandma had that effect upon people, and it’s a gift she passed on to me.

I thank her for it every day.

The idea that as modern women we can “have it all” pushes us to achieve more and more. The images in magazines and on television project the modern woman as being a laughing mother/professional career woman in a crisp white shirt and without a hair out of place. We’re sold hair dye, deodorant, lipstick, and skin cream based on this concept. We’re reminded often that our foremothers worked hard and sacrificed much for us to be free and equal, but with that comes a sense of obligation on our part. How can we let them down by not taking advantage of that and well… “having it all”?

We like to think that we have moved beyond the unrealistic expectations that we imagine our grandmothers had to live up to. In the 50’s, the show Leave It to Beaver epitomized the perfect mother in June Cleaver. Always wearing a smile and pearls, June was unflappable, the house spotless, dinner hot and hearty on the table at five o’clock every day. She was standing at the door with cookies and milk at the end of every school day and brought her husband his slippers and a paper when he arrived home from work.

We congratulate ourselves for reaching a level of society where we can look back on June Cleaver and the like as women who sacrificed their own dreams and needs, in order to be a good wife/mother/woman. Now we have our own careers and our husbands have to fetch their own slippers. But we are foolish to throw around such easy congratulations… living up to the standard of June Cleaver would be a piece of chocolate frosted layer cake compared to the new standard we are living with. In true Modern Woman fashion, we have raised the bar. I’ll see your hearty meal and raise you an international corporate empire, celebrity status, a television show, a few magazines, and dozens of cookbooks. In other words, a Martha Stewart.

Today we have Martha setting a whole new level of achievement for us. June may have been stuck in the kitchen making wholesome pot roast dinners and chocolate chip cookies all day, but Martha has us coming home from a full day at the office just in time to encrust citrus infused tilipia fillets and hand-roll lavender crepes stuffed with crème fraiche and drizzled with fresh raspberry coulis.

We’re still running the household, but now it’s under the added pressure of having a well-paying professional career, breaking glass ceilings, and looking flawless while doing it. After all, Martha runs a huge company and then heads home to host elaborate dinner parties complete with handmade party favors. She never raises her voice and heck, she even went to prison gracefully.

While Martha has us creating our own personalized wrapping paper, there’s a boatload of svelte celebrities taunting us into yoga and pilates and pole dancing classes in an attempt to make our bodies supermodel slim immediately after childbirth. A multitude of do-it-yourself television shows encourage us to re-tile our bathrooms, faux paint our living room walls, or build our own brick chimneys.

Isn’t it time we asked ourselves if this is too much?

True self-help is a combination of dream and reality. Too many self-help books only deal with one aspect or the other. The Re-Design Your Life Workbook brings you both in an easy-to-follow format. Not only will you figure out your True Goals, but you will understand exactly HOW to make them happen and what is holding you back (and it isn’t just yourself!).

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• understanding why you haven’t been able to do it on your own

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What about it though? A recent study discovered that commercials aimed at kids (33 per hour!) show boys building, fixing things, or fighting 55% of the time. Girls, on the other hand, are shown 77% of the time laughing, talking, or merely observing others. Sadly, we continue to see this in real life… girls “watching” while boys “do”. Just think how often you see a girl on the back of a motorcycle and compare that to how often you see a girl riding a motorcycle. How can we ensure that we are equally, if not more, interesting and active than our male counterparts? I’ve got some suggestions.

Ride a motorcycle

There’s nothing cooler than a girl on a motorcycle. It sure makes you mindful of driving and is better for the environment and much easier on your monthly gas bill. What it gives you to talk about: great rides you have been on, how pretty your motorcycle is, how much better mileage you get than in your car. And for the fashionista’s among us… there are some exciting new motorcycle outfits designed just for women.

Start a band

Can’t play an instrument? That hasn’t stopped many of the boys I know. Pick one and start figuring it out. It doesn’t have to be an all-girl band either. A hot female guitarist in a band full of nerdy guys would really rock.

Get a camera

Be it a still or motion camera, get out there and take some pictures or shoot some video. Get a real camera, one with interchangeable lenses. Post an ad for some models, shoot something trashy, something edgy, something utterly commercial. Get some hunky male models to take their clothes off and wield that camera like you know what you’re doing with it.

Build something; something big

Use all those crafty skills for something big and dare I say, practical? Build a dining room table. Yes, that’s right… go buy some wood, borrow a table saw, and get to it. If you have the patience and skill to hand make pop-up birthday cards, you are going to build one hell of a dining room table.

Do anything that you do well, but take it to the next level

Boys aren’t low on confidence, even when they are low on talent. We all know that we can do anything boys can do, and better, so why don’t we start a business, go pro, book a gig…

Now let’s get to it.

“…take another little piece of my heart now, baaaaby…” It’s a snowy evening, there’s a crackling fire in the fireplace casting a warm glow around the living room. Dinner is in the oven and our little house is filled with the scent of roast chicken and rosemary. Dad will be home soon. Janis Joplin is playing on the stereo. I’m six years old. Mum and I sing along to the delight of Katie who watches from her playpen, laughing and bouncing. “…cause you know you got it, lord, when it makes you feel gooood…”

I loved the music my parents played, and the freedom we enjoyed in appreciating it. My parents were not afraid to share their musical tastes with us. I certainly didn’t like everything; I don’t miss hearing The Pogues and I think there was a Linda Rondstadt phase in there that I’ve blocked from my mind, but I can’t take a road trip without singing Beach Boys songs and I can’t clean the house without singing along to The Clancy Brothers. Despite my entire family’s lack of ability to keep a tune, we shared many many wonderful bonding experiences through music.

Somewhere along the line someone figured out that kids should have their own line of music, specifically tailored by age. Sell parents the idea that young brains will do better with appropriate music and whamo, you’ve just opened up a whole new market! Now you can have your music, your kids can have theirs. Forget about bonding (unless you’re ready to groove to the purple passions of Barney) and while you’re at it, kiss your sanity good-bye, for as anyone who has listened extensively to kids’ music knows, it’s designed for kids and no one else.

Music is all about rhythm, beats, melodies, and passion. This stuff isn’t age or gender specific, it’s universal. Kids naturally respond to music of all genres. The benefits of music are vast, from math and language skills, to creativity and physicality. (If it’s scientific data you’re after, the web has numerous articles on the positive effects of music in relation to spatial-temporal reasoning, sensory integration, early cognitive development, and learning.) You don’t need to be a musician or have any training to appreciate and share music with your child; it’s one of the basest of human reactions.

We can enjoy the same things as our children. Thank goodness my mother didn’t torture herself (or us) with the saccharin sweet, made-for-kids albums that are marketed to parents today. The point of this is not to dissuade you from ever buying another kids’ album. There are some decent ones, and kids do love a good interactive session of song and dance. But, if you don’t feel like listening to The Wheels on the Bus every day, just realize that kids don’t need a kid-specific song in order to reap the benefits music has to offer. They can clap and stomp to Twist and Shout by the Beatles as well as any kids’ tune; their minds will appreciate a melodic verse or catchy beat from almost any popular music that’s out there today. By sharing music you love with your kids you open up a terrific opportunity for bonding, and an appreciation of music that will last a lifetime.

So where does a ninth-grade dropout get such a voracious love of language?

I once heard George Carlin give an interview where he told how his mother would read the paper and when she came across an article that was well-written she would call him into her bedroom and have him sit on her bed while she read aloud, enthusiastically sharing with him her joy in word choices and language usage. Saying things like, “Doesn’t that word just cut through to the meaning…” and “Look at how that phrase captures the exact feeling…”, Ms. Carlin not only helped educate young George on vocabulary, grammar, and language, but sharing her interest made learning exciting, and is an excellent way to create a strong bond between child and parent.

So how can I get my child interested in learning?

My own parents were great lovers of learning. To them, life was full of exciting things to be discovered, shared, discussed. Genuine enthusiasm is catching.

I remember Stark Raving Mum dramatically reading aloud Edgar Allen Poe, followed by a discussion on haunting language, meter, and the effectiveness of repetition. How mere words could make such a spooky story is surprisingly interesting to seven year old girls.

And when Stark Raving Sister asked how wheels on a car turned freely and stayed attached, Stark Raving Dad followed with… “Good question, let’s take it apart and see.” Off he went to get a ball bearing and we took it apart. That’s pretty cool stuff.

So, like Ms. Carlin, Stark Raving Parents understand that learning isn’t limited to stuffy classrooms with blackboards and droning teachers. Whether it’s the physics of a Backside 540 air skateboard trick, or the telling body language of lying politicians, or how words can sound terrible but have mundane meaning (great for insults - You… Black-eyed, Star-worted Scabious!), life is full of exciting things to learn, share it with your kids.