Stark Raving Madeleine

Nana lived only a few blocks from the ocean. I don’t remember much about actually being at the beach, what I do remember are the walks to the beach, those I remember distinctly. We’d walk down flights of moss covered stone steps hidden away between blackberry bushes, ivy, and wild roses. We took our time, picking blackberries, braiding ivy and roses into crowns as we danced and sang. These walks to the beach hold some of my most cherished memories. It’s only now that I realize how fortunate I was to have a grandmother who didn’t need to act “grown up”.

As children, we’re naturally full of spirit, whimsy, and a strong yearning for knowledge. Our days are filled with excitement and our sense of adventure wins out over the challenges and obstacles we encounter. Why then, do we as adults frown, scoff, and even sneer at the idea of fun or silliness? Why are we so anxious to “grow up” and distance ourselves from the spirit of youth?

Why does there come a point when responsible adults exchange their guitars for briefcases, their motorcycles for sedans, their snowboards for golf clubs? What happened to the freedom that was supposed to come along with the added responsibility of being in charge of your own life? As we grow through childhood, pressure is put on us to be increasingly more self-conscious. Certainly by the time we make it through high school, most of us have learned, rather painfully, to keep ourselves as inconspicuous as possible. Heading out into the world of adulthood, it’s soundly reinforced that we need to “look the part”, “be serious”, and “act responsibly”.

Now, you’ll get no argument from me that adults need to be responsible. It’s just that I’m thinking along the lines of: not causing harm to others, paying bills on time, not forgetting to feed the dog, and taking good physical care of ourselves and dependants. What I don’t understand is this; how did riding a skateboard, spontaneously jumping into a pile of leaves, or spending an afternoon drawing pictures with crayons worm their way into unacceptable, irresponsible adult behavior?

We’re too hard on ourselves and each other. Living life with spirit and enthusiasm is far more important than meeting someone else’s standard of appropriate behavior. We need to discover ways of reclaiming the youthful spirit that brightened our childhood and we need to let it be okay for others to do the same without judgment. It should be fun to be an adult. Funny thing is, the more we open up and allow ourselves the space to be real, to do and say the things we please, the more it allows and encourages those around us to do the same. My grandma had that effect upon people, and it’s a gift she passed on to me.

I thank her for it every day.

Tags: adult, child, childhood, dancing, experiencing, growing up, happiness, joy, life, responsibility, self-conscious, singing, youthful